The following poems were written somewhat over a quarter of a century ago. Perhaps I was more agile then, but one is never too old to climb the Tree.
The Proof of Fire (Gevurah)
Within the Solar Sphere came I to know myself,
And find the Sun within,
Make Holy Union with the One I Am,
And rise above the taint of matter
By the Power of the Light.
Empowered, and more --
By the priest eternal now enlivened,
I have crossed the veil.
Before me are the flames -- before me is the cutting sword,
Before me is the scourge of discipline, and I am bound
To brave the fire, the severing, the searing --
Fire and steel and power arise before me in the spirit eye!
Thus I behold the Sphere of Fear, behold the Martial might,
And know the angel of the powers of Justice and Economy
Turns now to gaze upon me with those eyes of fire and light --
Revealing me -- concealing nothing -- blazing
There is no night in which to hide,
No corner where I may abide and hold myself aloof;
I have forsworn all else, and I must follow Truth.
Into the flames I now must go,
And by those flames I will to know myself in purity --
In light alone embodied, and in substance like the fire itself --
A being of the Light beyond the need of fleshly form --
Embodied in eternal mode, beyond the grave, beyond the worm,
Beyond the pain of death.
Enlivened ever by the Holy Breath,
My spirit leaps like tongues of flame that speak in silence
And extol the Holy Name by dancing joy
In action, good right arm in sweeping, scythe-like measures
Dealing death to that which dies
And purifying that which now returns upon the path
Which leads unto the Source.
I do invoke upon me now the Fire!
I shall not tarry nor grow faint. The true desire
Within me flames with strength
To match the burning of the Seraphim.
I will aspire, and win my way, and then
Come humble and with childlike awe
To Mercy and the just reward of Law Fulfilled,
And Fear o’ercome, and balance struck.
I shall have won by dint of battle made within myself,
and with the conquering warrior’s wreath
Salute the laughing Lord, place sword within its sheath
And take the orb and scepter as my own.
Meditations Upon the
AMA (The Sterile)
I stand upon a silent shore and see the water, deep and dark,
Extending ever like an endless sea.
And yet, there is no life within, no movement on the sands of time,
No light, no form, and all is held within the ebon robe.
It is the womb of Time, before the Word is spoke.
I have traversed the path, come through the flames and found
Release from pain and trial by mercy
And the Father's rich beneficence.
I have stood upon the chasm's lip, and felt myself borne up
And moved across the dread abyss ... was it for this?
Is this the goal? Is this the end for which I strove?
There is a blackness here which never has known light.
There is sorrow here, a bitterness of deepest night
There is death, the tomb of joy and freedom,
And the width of all of space, without the stars, without the bright
And beauteous brilliance I have ever known before me.
Where am I? And have I sacrificed all light and life and joy
For this? For only this?
Into my spirit I must look, with single eye, and find the truth.
I am at home again. I have returned unto the Mother,
And the womb of All That Is
Is there before me as the dark,
Becalmed and motionless Eternal Sea.
This is the goal. This is the aim.
For this I entered, flower-bedecked, into the holy fane and trod
The irridescent path with golden sandals shod, and with my eyes
Forever upward turned unto my God.
For this I left the comforts of the world;
For this I did unfurl my banner of intent, and spent my life
As silver and as gold, paying my price
That I might once again return unto the fold
Whence I had issued at the start, unto the primal source,
Unto the Mother and her throne
Set in the heart of Time and Space. I have returned unto the place
From whence I came. And all is dark, and there is sorrow,
And I have no name, no meaning, and no joy of self.
I am bereft of all I ever was, and am as though I never was,
Becalmed, adrift without direction, still, entombed in night.
I am as ash that falls without the breath of wind,
Without the life of movement and of form,
Into the waters of the endless, silent sea.
The Mother's robe of darkness opens and enfoldeth me.
I am enveloped
In the blackness of Eternity.
AIMA (The Fecund)
Lo! There is sudden revelation.
In this deep and mournful meditation
On the silent, lifeless sea
There is a light
From No-thing come to be, projected from Eternal Source
With force of divine creativity. The waters move
And there is light, and form, and life is born
Within me, and I am in-formed, reborn anew.
Now from the waters I arise,
And see before me Mara's eyes --
Enfolding me --
And I am leaping life and light and joy;
And as the light in me grows strong, I see Her in Her glory
And upon Her throne. Her chalice is now full; her lamp is lit.
The great paternal force has moved Her and She sits
Upon Her birthing chair, and from Her comes Creation
In its endless, infinite array.
There is light within Her eyes; there is life within her womb;
And darkness is the friend of life.
In darkness is the seed enwrapped
And moist, maternal depths hold futures to unfold
Into the brightness of the vast and glorious space
Where Time exists as movement in Eternity.
The stars are born from darkness into light,
And I am one of them, bright-beaming in the night of Time,
Bringing the Word of potency, of creature, co-creating
With divine Paternal Source, bearing my form
As gift of Source and Force, and as a burden that is only Light,
And hence, no burden, after all.
I have released the whole of me unto the Source,
And found myself returned.
I am a child of all Eternity, of Space and Time,
Of visible integrity, am whole, am one
With that which at the start conceived me.
Yet still, I am myself, with my own being formed within
The Mother's womb as singular, unique reflection
Of the Father's thought, brought forth from Unity
Into the dance of multiplicity that is Creation.
Upon Her throne the Mother sits,
And I before Her see the waters thrill with tides of life,
With infinite life, and I am one with it,
Am all of it, and yet, am no-thing, formed,
Being two, and none.
Father's seed of thought I am;
His power spoke, her waters broken
On the shore of Time in cosmic birth;
I am the two of them, as one come through full cycle
And returned, the child of earth, made and unmade,
And made anew as Universal Being
In the Mother's eyes.
I would at last behold and know the Primal Father whence I came,
I would return to feel Initiating Force again,
And hear the echo of the Name
Still sounding and resounding through Creation,
Holy fane of Deity's desire made manifest
And then fulfilled
By the power of the Word
Upon the sea of space.
I am a speck, a mote, a gleaming spark,
And in the darkness of the womb of space
I am a single star, and I am thus alone,
Held in the compass of Infinity.
Yet is the vision now extended me ....
There is a great and mighty wheel surrounding me,
A wheel of stars, a wheel of light,
The movement of eternity,
Infinity directed and encircling all that is
Within the form of matter made.
The girdle of Creation is about me,
And I read therein the wisdom of the cosmos laid
Like sparkling cyphers 'gainst the darkness
Of the night of space.
The wheel turns, and spinning thus
I see the universal pattern whirling in the cosmic dust,
And forming new worlds by the Mother's receptivity
To Father's force upon Her, and new stars that move
In spiral galaxies, and dance in their first morning,
And reflect the Source anew.
I see the wheels, the grinding wheels that turn
And do impress upon the forms born from the Primal Womb
Expression of the One Eternal Source
By dint of puissant and paternal force.
These wheels do move, and in their strength
Like millstones grind, and all that comes to birth
Is to them subject, and their cycling, circling power of truth
To reassert, resound, and echo
In the spiral dance that is the Name
Spoken and heard, and given shape and form,
And by the Mother's sanctifying grace
Become the Word of Creativity.
In endless procession the circles go round
And in their movement is true wisdom found:
From source to force to form light moves,and thence to matter,
Proves itself in solid state, and then begins
The serpent's coils turn back upon themselves,
The child of matter yearns at last
To find the starry birthing ground from which he passed
To earthly foster home.
My eyes are filled with starry light;
As writing in the deeps of space I see the Father's Name
And Word and Wisdom spread across the vastness,
Framed in ebon, and my power of sight is daunted and is naught.
Then, when eye has failed, and formless light is all to me,
I hear the voice of God that echoes in Eternity.
The secrets of the Aeons are revealed to me
In one, most perfect utterance.
Divinity doth speak, and laughter rolls
Throughout the universe, and wisdom is revealed
To be the endless round of spirit into light,
And thence to form, and back again
To light and spirit from the slowing of the dance
That is materiality.
There is no knowledge of this possible,
No data to collect, nor scholarship to plumb the depths
Of Divine Wisdom, nor the words to frame it in
Were sage or magus to yet come to know
That which is here.
One cannot know the mode and purpose of Divinity
Save one be one with it;
And then, what can be said?
In silence, then, I rest upon the flower of my true ascent,
And make the ancient symbol of the babe who speaketh not,
Yet hears the echo of the Word which sent him forth
In glistening spume of seminal star-spray,
And in his silence knoweth not,
Yet is the Wisdom of Supernal Parent, being made of this
And ruled by it, and formed through its activity.
I may not know, yet I may simply be
The child of ultimate, Divine Paternity.
MOST HIGH -- I AM
THE HIDDEN INTELLIGENCE OF ALL I AM
IN BEINGNESS COMPLETE
PRIMAL PRECIPITATION FROM UNMANIFEST
FORMLESS AND WHOLE
YET LUMINOUS BEYOND SIGHT
THE PRIMAL PRINCIPLE OF BEING
I AM THE LIVING LIGHT THAT DWELLS WITHIN THE CLOUD
INTANGIBLE YET MANIFEST.
I AM THE BREATH OF LIFE
THAT GOETH FORTH
BECOMETH WHAT IT WILL
AND THEN RETURNS.
I AM BEFORE TIME
ANCIENT OF ANCIENTS.
THERE --AT THE POINT OF ALL BEGINNING --
HERE I AM
AND I AM YET THE END
THE GREAT ATTAINMENT GAINED
I AM THE ALL-POTENTIAL
AND I AM ALL THINGS TO COME.
I AM THE SOURCE OF ALL
I AM THE ONE
SPARK OF DIVINE CONSCIOUSNESS
THE POINT OF FIRST CAUSATION
AND OF ULTIMATE RETURN
FIRST AND FINAL UNION
ALPHA AND OMEGA POINT I AM
WITHIN THE COMPASS OF INFINITY.
AND NOTHING MATTERS
WHERE I AM AS ONE
SAVE THAT THE BREATH GO FORTH AS NAME
I AM THAT PRINCIPLEOF SELF-CREATING DEITY
AND ALL IS BUT REFLECTION
OF THE ONE I AM.
About The Eye of the Crone
The perspective shared here is one that comes from decades of experience, study, and personal unfoldment. It is ultimately the result of an unexpected spiritual awakening that occurred in 1971, by which a foolish young woman touched Wisdom, and became a dedicated student of the Divine Being.